Hello all. I'm still here, still looking for a new job. It's been 6 weeks or so now that I haven't been working, and only this weekend I stopped getting paid. Well, now I'm on my own, well and truely. I'm still plugging away at job hunting. Every day I'm surfing the web looking at various recruitment agencies websites, applying for jobs every day, getting on the phone every day. God I'm fed up with it all. I know at the beginning of my blog I said that by the time I turned 30, I wanted a better job than the one I had, but I didn't want to do it ike this. I didn't want to be shoved out of my job like I was.
This whole process has been so rubbish. I am so bored at home. The cat is driving me crazy, I'm sure I drive her crazy too. I seem to miss J an awful lot (it doesn't help that he still goes fishing at the weekend - crazy bugger, IT'S WINTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!) but, I don't mind really. I had my sister on the phone yesterday and it was SO GOOD to talk to another human being for a change. But hey, we got our new sofa that we ordered at the end of September! Woo, what joy. Ah well, at least it's comfortable.
All sorts of things have gone wrong lately. J's car was a write off, he bought another one, and his friend drove it back home for us, picking up a nail on the way and gave us a puncture. The new car leaks like crazy (but, the stereo now works!). The washing machine pipe got totally blocked and after trying all sorts of tricks to clear it, J will now have to rip the pipe apart and unblock it from the outside. For now, the only way we're able to do washing is having the machine in the middle of the kitchen with the outlet pipe in the sink. So, working in the kitchen at the moment is nearly impossible. The new fence we put up shortly after moving in is now being blown appart by the awful winds we have up here. Still, next week, my matcho, navy brother will be popping in to help us out with that. The house is in a constant state of messy no matter how hard I feel I've been working. I've been to hospital because of stress. J is on and off unwell and I think stress on him is partly to blame for that, yet he still goes to work. I can't find the battery charger for my camera so I can't upload any piccys of Lily cat yet to show you all, and I don't know if I really fancy a Chinese meal or an Indian, but it doesn't matter anyway because I can't afford either! I don't know why I brought that up, but for weeks I have been wanting a take away and it's on my mind!
I also know I haven't been keeping up with my weigh loss countdown, but today is a Tuesday during week 77 of the countdown, and I do need to go into town today (JSA interview) so I will weigh myself and enter it into the chart. Well, I'll put it down as week 76 as the start of a new week. I'll update the chart later tonight.
I'm sorry. I know I'm moaning, but I am so bored! Don't get me wrong, I am keeping busy, but I'm sick of sawing wood for the fire, I have terribly dry hands from wall paper scraping & painting, I baked practice Christmas cookies and now I keep eating the buggers (no good for the diet I can tell you!) and I feel like I do nothing but tidy the house, and yet it's still a great big mess on a daily basis (where the heck does it all come from!) I seriously am starting to think I have no time in my life for a job any more (Kidding! I am desperate to get back into a routine and get back to work).
I did however have a very lovely "Christmas spirit" moment the other day. I had a £9 voucher for a cookery shop here in Stroud called "mills" - It's a lovely shop, full of bits & bobs of all shapes and sizes. Anyway, to prepare for making Christmas cookies, I needed cutters you know, a tree, a star, snowflake that sort of thing. I got chatting to the bloke behind the counter and I explained that I want to try and make a whole big batch of cookies to take to the family for Christmas so I don't go empty handed since I lost my job. All this stuff went over the amount on my voucher, and he just said to take it all, not asking me to pay the difference. I was very touched. He certainly didn't have to do that. He could have been like most other people in shops and been a total heartless bastard. But he wasn't. He was so nice. I said I should bring him some cookies to say thank you, but he "doesn't do sugar". Ah well, I made the gesture!
Well, since I've been stuck at home for weeks, I don't really have much to report. I will catch you all up when something actually happens in my life! I guess this is the time in the soap opera of my life when the really good writers have been on holiday and the idiots they've left behind just haven't got a clue how to keep the show interesting!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Pre-crash chat
Well, I forget my manners don't I - didn't even let you know what on earth we were doing on the A14 Kettering Road to begin with - we were coming home from Norfolk would you believe. Yep, a very brief 2 night stop over in Norfolk, with the intention of attending the engagement party of J's brother Mark & his lovely lady Sarah.
You know what I've decided upon when it comes to parties? Well, a small, intimate affair, with perhaps no more than 6 or 8 people, tends to be very fun, quite lively, and leaves you all in fits and giggles by the end of the night.... if it doesn't, your not drinking enough or talking enough, one or the other. When it comes to slightly larger do's, there seems to be a sort of what I would call a "ring" effect. Let me explain, you see, with any party, there has to be one to two people that the party is for - be it birthday, engagement whatever. If it happens to be "just a dinner party" or new years eve or so, then it centres around the person / people who organised & are hosting the event. With me so far? ok. Now, as I've said, if it's up to around 6 or 8, this is fine, everyone can get involved and join in and have fun with equal vigour. When it becomes more than that, not everyone can be involved with the central people, well, it's difficult to spread your self so thin isn't it?
So, what happens with any party of some numbers, is you have your central couple (lets say) surrounding them is a core group of close friends or family, outside of this ring is another group, this group are the group who want, so very much, to be part of that ring so attached to the centre, however, as we have established, more than 6 or 8 makes this difficult. These are the people who embarrass themselves at parties, these are the folk who get on the dance floor when no one else is there to "show willing", or get very loud and very drunk at a much quicker rate than anyone else and so the stand out from the crowd. For this ring, there doesn't necessarily have to be more than one person, this person on his own does enough running around, trying to "impress" that he creates his own ring around this little, mini group. As the drink keeps flowing, and the drunker the "central wanna-be" becomes, the more down hearted by being in this outer ring he is. Eventually getting poured into a taxi and sent home with the central couple mentally shaking their heads and wondering if his social status is good enough to be invited to the next soiree .
Then again there is another ring of people, these are the ones who have resigned themselves to the fact that the most they will get out of the central couple is a quick "hi, how are you doing? Glad you could come" greeting and then they'll be off - oh, not before of course accepting a drink from this by-stander and being on their merry way back to their central, core group of party people. This group are sensible enough to know they won't really be much use at this party, except to make up the numbers, and for this central couple, the mark of a good party for them is to see many heads around them, seemingly enjoying themselves. This ring, form their own mini rings of maybe 3 / 4 in order not to feel like party poopers / wet lemons and spend the evening in various corners of the room, chatting away amongst themselves. These tend to be the ones who leave the party early, professing the have an early start, don't feel very well or the babysitter is waiting for them. They simply don't want to offend the central couple by admitting that they're bored and would prefer to get into bed. There will be the odd additional extra to this ring, a non-core attendee who will circle these outer ring mini-groups, making sure "everyone is ok, having a good time" and will perhaps spend 5 / 10 minutes talking in amongst these groups, be part of the conversation and then will feel free to move onto the next group.
Then of course, in some extreme circumstances (not all mind you) is the wet lemon. The one who can't seem to engage in any mini-groups, doesn't want to buzz around everyone as they don't have the energy or don't want to, and have perhaps had previous experience in trying to become part of the central group and failed, and so, now they have been burnt, don't wish to try again. The reason for wet lemon? They tend to have a combined look of where they've just tried sucking on a lemon & didn't know how sour the taste would be, and have been caught in a rain storm and are now feeling uncomfortable and irritable.
So, we have central couple, central ring, orbiting wanna-be, sub mini groups, non-central flyer & the wet lemon.
Most people if they're honest, desperately want to be part of the central ring. You can only enter into this ring if you are very close to the central couple, have a lot in common with them, go out with them on a regular basis etc. Basically, it's the "cool kids" group. But the central couple, nor the central ring will notice any of the other sub-rings. They may get annoyed by the orbiting wanna-be, eventually, a central ringer will tell him he's being a prat and to stop mucking about. but everyone else, is un-noticed until they wish to go home and the response is often "Oh shame you couldn't stay longer, we didn't have a chance to catch up!" the truth is you had the last 3 hours to catch up with that person, but you didn't want to!
There are of course, other levels to this party analogy, including at least one central ringer who will stand out from their own crowd - this is the one who gets the central couple dancing, who helps to look after them by getting drinks in etc. Making themselves a favourable candidate for the next party because they were such great company (who perhaps also suffers afterwards from not only a hangover, but also a brown nose). These are the annoying ones who no matter what is going on, firmly believe that they too deserve central recognition. I hate these people.
I think I have been in each category over time. sometimes changing rings in the same party. This one in Norfolk tho, definitely a sub mini-group / non-central flyer (for about half an hour, then I couldn't be bothered!). I mostly stuck with Marie, J's sister, who also seemed to be a little fed up with this family gathering - nothing wrong with it, but lets be honest, you should either have a family do, or a thing with friends - do one party with both never seems to go well. You always have your preferred person / people you want to hang out with, and since you can choose your friends and your stuck with your family, in most cases, you end up spending the majority of the party with your friends - well, who wouldn't? With family, central couples do force themselves to do the right thing and chat with family for a little while before excusing themselves or are taken away by a central ringer. Marie and I spent most of the evening wondering down stairs to the main bar to get a drink, stand outside in the fresh air for a while, at one stage played the I.T box before wondering back upstairs to again take a seat and do not very much at all. Still, if we hadn't of gone it would have upset the central couple and that wouldn't have been fair on them.
Parties, honestly, I don't see why we get so worked up over them.
Whilst in Norfolk, we were able to catch up with little Roxy, one of our nieces! (come on, I know we're not married, but being together 4 years earns me the right to be Aunty Nina, and similarly to my sisters kids, he is Uncle J). She's certainly getting bigger!
All in all, it was a good weekend, apart from the obvious. No. no. I mean the crash, not the party!
You know what I've decided upon when it comes to parties? Well, a small, intimate affair, with perhaps no more than 6 or 8 people, tends to be very fun, quite lively, and leaves you all in fits and giggles by the end of the night.... if it doesn't, your not drinking enough or talking enough, one or the other. When it comes to slightly larger do's, there seems to be a sort of what I would call a "ring" effect. Let me explain, you see, with any party, there has to be one to two people that the party is for - be it birthday, engagement whatever. If it happens to be "just a dinner party" or new years eve or so, then it centres around the person / people who organised & are hosting the event. With me so far? ok. Now, as I've said, if it's up to around 6 or 8, this is fine, everyone can get involved and join in and have fun with equal vigour. When it becomes more than that, not everyone can be involved with the central people, well, it's difficult to spread your self so thin isn't it? So, what happens with any party of some numbers, is you have your central couple (lets say) surrounding them is a core group of close friends or family, outside of this ring is another group, this group are the group who want, so very much, to be part of that ring so attached to the centre, however, as we have established, more than 6 or 8 makes this difficult. These are the people who embarrass themselves at parties, these are the folk who get on the dance floor when no one else is there to "show willing", or get very loud and very drunk at a much quicker rate than anyone else and so the stand out from the crowd. For this ring, there doesn't necessarily have to be more than one person, this person on his own does enough running around, trying to "impress" that he creates his own ring around this little, mini group. As the drink keeps flowing, and the drunker the "central wanna-be" becomes, the more down hearted by being in this outer ring he is. Eventually getting poured into a taxi and sent home with the central couple mentally shaking their heads and wondering if his social status is good enough to be invited to the next soiree .
Then again there is another ring of people, these are the ones who have resigned themselves to the fact that the most they will get out of the central couple is a quick "hi, how are you doing? Glad you could come" greeting and then they'll be off - oh, not before of course accepting a drink from this by-stander and being on their merry way back to their central, core group of party people. This group are sensible enough to know they won't really be much use at this party, except to make up the numbers, and for this central couple, the mark of a good party for them is to see many heads around them, seemingly enjoying themselves. This ring, form their own mini rings of maybe 3 / 4 in order not to feel like party poopers / wet lemons and spend the evening in various corners of the room, chatting away amongst themselves. These tend to be the ones who leave the party early, professing the have an early start, don't feel very well or the babysitter is waiting for them. They simply don't want to offend the central couple by admitting that they're bored and would prefer to get into bed. There will be the odd additional extra to this ring, a non-core attendee who will circle these outer ring mini-groups, making sure "everyone is ok, having a good time" and will perhaps spend 5 / 10 minutes talking in amongst these groups, be part of the conversation and then will feel free to move onto the next group.
Then of course, in some extreme circumstances (not all mind you) is the wet lemon. The one who can't seem to engage in any mini-groups, doesn't want to buzz around everyone as they don't have the energy or don't want to, and have perhaps had previous experience in trying to become part of the central group and failed, and so, now they have been burnt, don't wish to try again. The reason for wet lemon? They tend to have a combined look of where they've just tried sucking on a lemon & didn't know how sour the taste would be, and have been caught in a rain storm and are now feeling uncomfortable and irritable.
So, we have central couple, central ring, orbiting wanna-be, sub mini groups, non-central flyer & the wet lemon.
Most people if they're honest, desperately want to be part of the central ring. You can only enter into this ring if you are very close to the central couple, have a lot in common with them, go out with them on a regular basis etc. Basically, it's the "cool kids" group. But the central couple, nor the central ring will notice any of the other sub-rings. They may get annoyed by the orbiting wanna-be, eventually, a central ringer will tell him he's being a prat and to stop mucking about. but everyone else, is un-noticed until they wish to go home and the response is often "Oh shame you couldn't stay longer, we didn't have a chance to catch up!" the truth is you had the last 3 hours to catch up with that person, but you didn't want to!
There are of course, other levels to this party analogy, including at least one central ringer who will stand out from their own crowd - this is the one who gets the central couple dancing, who helps to look after them by getting drinks in etc. Making themselves a favourable candidate for the next party because they were such great company (who perhaps also suffers afterwards from not only a hangover, but also a brown nose). These are the annoying ones who no matter what is going on, firmly believe that they too deserve central recognition. I hate these people.I think I have been in each category over time. sometimes changing rings in the same party. This one in Norfolk tho, definitely a sub mini-group / non-central flyer (for about half an hour, then I couldn't be bothered!). I mostly stuck with Marie, J's sister, who also seemed to be a little fed up with this family gathering - nothing wrong with it, but lets be honest, you should either have a family do, or a thing with friends - do one party with both never seems to go well. You always have your preferred person / people you want to hang out with, and since you can choose your friends and your stuck with your family, in most cases, you end up spending the majority of the party with your friends - well, who wouldn't? With family, central couples do force themselves to do the right thing and chat with family for a little while before excusing themselves or are taken away by a central ringer. Marie and I spent most of the evening wondering down stairs to the main bar to get a drink, stand outside in the fresh air for a while, at one stage played the I.T box before wondering back upstairs to again take a seat and do not very much at all. Still, if we hadn't of gone it would have upset the central couple and that wouldn't have been fair on them.
Parties, honestly, I don't see why we get so worked up over them.
Whilst in Norfolk, we were able to catch up with little Roxy, one of our nieces! (come on, I know we're not married, but being together 4 years earns me the right to be Aunty Nina, and similarly to my sisters kids, he is Uncle J). She's certainly getting bigger!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Let the saga continue!
Well, do we all remember me mentioning before that I feel like my life reads more like a soap opera than what I'd like to think of as "real life"? Well, what would a good soap opera be without an exciting car crash.
I'm not kidding, last night, J and I were about 20 mins away from Coventry where we were looking forward to stopping for a KFC rather than cook when we got home, a 4 and a half hour drive doesn't ever seem to put me in the mood to put my culinary skills to the test. When along the A14 Kettering Road, we saw a large Argos truck come out of a lay by, he was moving quite slowly so we stupidly thought that he was going to be sensible and wait for an opening in the road. Oh yes, we saw him, J even commented "what's he up to?" when suddenly, he ramped up his speed, vaulted out of the lay by and we couldn't stop in time. We tried to steer round him but there was a car penning us in to our right and we couldn't get over without hitting that car too. All I remember of the collision was screaming "J,J,J,J........AAAAHHHHHHHHHH" and trying to scramble over my seat because the corner of the truck hit my side of the car and I seriously thought it was going to keep coming and come right through the window. Luckily it didn't and J had enough savvy to get us off the road and onto the side bit of grass. The truck at first seemed to keep going, but thankfully he stopped to see what happened.
I managed to get out of my door (oh, it's broken and it hardly opens now by the way) and just in my socks, didn't even get enough time to put my shoes on, I got out of the car, and in the ankle thick mud I raced over to that truck, by now the driver was out of his cab coming towards us, and I screamed at him - nothing coherant to start with you understand "Wha, Wh, Wah, What, What the FUCK do you think your doing?!!!" Honestly, I didn't know what the hell was going on, all I knew is that this guy shouldn't just drive off like I thought he was doing in the first place then suddenly, he asked me, "Are you all right? Is everyone in your car alright?" Honestly, I didn't know, I had no idea if I had been hurt, or even if J was all right, I felt such a rush of guilt that I didn't even stay to ask J if he was ok. I felt so awful, suddenly I felt so sick, because I looked behind me back towards the car, and J was still in the car. Oh god, what if he was hurt? Oh god! What have I done?! I went back to the car at what felt like a snails pace, but J emerged, unscathed, like me rather rattled but ok, and suddenly I realised I was also ok. Thank goodness.
I just didn't know what to do, I just was babbling, and I just didn't know. The boys went to do all the swapping of insurance details stuff, and I stayed with the car. On my own I suddenly realised I was very cold in the night air, so I got my coat, and on standing up, I felt so faint. I was so worried that I would just pass out. So, I scrambled up the slope towards the trees. I figured that if I was going to pass out, I didn't want to do it anywhere near the road, and to help keep me alert I called my dad. Yep, a near 30 year old woman, strong, independent, a force to be reckoned with was sobbing down the phone to her father "but dad, I've never had a truck come crashing towards me before" I said as I wept.
We ended up realising that although the front light was smashed in and my side door wouldn't close properly, it was working, it could run. We limped to the services only 4 miles away and the truck driver, Michael, was actually a really decent guy and stayed with us for two hours trying to get our car a little bit back together, at least so that we could get ourselves home. While the boys did that I sat in a little thief cafe and all I could think was I needed toast. Some hot buttery toast, then I started to feel a bit better. He felt so awful about the whole thing, he was upset that it was our first car and it was now smashed up and that I was so obviously upset by the whole thing. I got upset again when he said that this meant he would lose his job, even though there was no damage to the truck at all. We managed to get home with the battery being held in with bungee straps, the headlights being held in with sticky tape and my door having a gap all the way round, enough that I could get my fingers out. What a journey is all I can say.
I'm not kidding, last night, J and I were about 20 mins away from Coventry where we were looking forward to stopping for a KFC rather than cook when we got home, a 4 and a half hour drive doesn't ever seem to put me in the mood to put my culinary skills to the test. When along the A14 Kettering Road, we saw a large Argos truck come out of a lay by, he was moving quite slowly so we stupidly thought that he was going to be sensible and wait for an opening in the road. Oh yes, we saw him, J even commented "what's he up to?" when suddenly, he ramped up his speed, vaulted out of the lay by and we couldn't stop in time. We tried to steer round him but there was a car penning us in to our right and we couldn't get over without hitting that car too. All I remember of the collision was screaming "J,J,J,J........AAAAHHHHHHHHHH" and trying to scramble over my seat because the corner of the truck hit my side of the car and I seriously thought it was going to keep coming and come right through the window. Luckily it didn't and J had enough savvy to get us off the road and onto the side bit of grass. The truck at first seemed to keep going, but thankfully he stopped to see what happened.
I managed to get out of my door (oh, it's broken and it hardly opens now by the way) and just in my socks, didn't even get enough time to put my shoes on, I got out of the car, and in the ankle thick mud I raced over to that truck, by now the driver was out of his cab coming towards us, and I screamed at him - nothing coherant to start with you understand "Wha, Wh, Wah, What, What the FUCK do you think your doing?!!!" Honestly, I didn't know what the hell was going on, all I knew is that this guy shouldn't just drive off like I thought he was doing in the first place then suddenly, he asked me, "Are you all right? Is everyone in your car alright?" Honestly, I didn't know, I had no idea if I had been hurt, or even if J was all right, I felt such a rush of guilt that I didn't even stay to ask J if he was ok. I felt so awful, suddenly I felt so sick, because I looked behind me back towards the car, and J was still in the car. Oh god, what if he was hurt? Oh god! What have I done?! I went back to the car at what felt like a snails pace, but J emerged, unscathed, like me rather rattled but ok, and suddenly I realised I was also ok. Thank goodness.
I just didn't know what to do, I just was babbling, and I just didn't know. The boys went to do all the swapping of insurance details stuff, and I stayed with the car. On my own I suddenly realised I was very cold in the night air, so I got my coat, and on standing up, I felt so faint. I was so worried that I would just pass out. So, I scrambled up the slope towards the trees. I figured that if I was going to pass out, I didn't want to do it anywhere near the road, and to help keep me alert I called my dad. Yep, a near 30 year old woman, strong, independent, a force to be reckoned with was sobbing down the phone to her father "but dad, I've never had a truck come crashing towards me before" I said as I wept.
We ended up realising that although the front light was smashed in and my side door wouldn't close properly, it was working, it could run. We limped to the services only 4 miles away and the truck driver, Michael, was actually a really decent guy and stayed with us for two hours trying to get our car a little bit back together, at least so that we could get ourselves home. While the boys did that I sat in a little thief cafe and all I could think was I needed toast. Some hot buttery toast, then I started to feel a bit better. He felt so awful about the whole thing, he was upset that it was our first car and it was now smashed up and that I was so obviously upset by the whole thing. I got upset again when he said that this meant he would lose his job, even though there was no damage to the truck at all. We managed to get home with the battery being held in with bungee straps, the headlights being held in with sticky tape and my door having a gap all the way round, enough that I could get my fingers out. What a journey is all I can say.
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